


as sweet as honey

by Stars_dreaming (orphan_account)



Series: 88 MCU drabbles and oneshots [56]
Category: Hawkeye (Comics), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Light Angst, Mild Smut, No Spoilers, No Timeline, Non-Graphic Smut, Not Canon Compliant, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2020-02-09 20:22:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18645433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Stars_dreaming
Summary: It's different this time.It feels different, too.She can feel it in the way she arches up to him and her hips buck into his own and how his hands roam her body.





	as sweet as honey

 

**~ &~**

 

It's different this time. 

It feels different, too.

She can feel it in the way she arches up to him and her hips buck into his own and how his hands roam her body. 

 

It feels like it's the end of something - like they're saying goodbye. 

And she's not ready for it. 

 

She's a Widow, like Tasha, convinced that love is for children, as everyone used to tell them. 

But now, in this room, with Clint inside her, she thinks that maybe if love is for children, then she would love nothing more than to be a child again. 

She loves him, she realizes, and she moans as he shifts inside her. His hands grip her waist and she's sure it's going to leave bruises but she doesn't care at all. 

His lips nip at her skin, suck and make marks that she know will be visible the next day, but well, if the world's gonna end, who is she to complain?

 

There is nowhere she'd rather be than here with him, right now. 

A streak of silver moonlight shines through the window, peeking through the small opening of the curtains and enlightens her form on their bed and Clint groans. 

"You're so beautiful," he whispers, and he reaches up to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. 

"Gorgeous," he says and he kisses her neck, reaches up for her again and they shift so that now she's on the bed and he is above her. 

He gives her a sweet grin and his eyes are alight with mirth and she _almost_ cries. Almost. 

 

She remembers the old days, when everyone was friends and they were still a real family and everything was okay. 

There were no imminent threats and all they had to deal with on a weekly basis were Doom, Amora and Loki. 

She wishes she could go back - she wishes most of all that she had acted on her feelings earlier. 

 

There is something, she thinks as Clint bends down to kiss her again. His tongue seeks entrance as his fingers caress her body and then his mouth leaves hers and he presses a kiss to the inside of her wrist. 

There is something about him that makes her shiver and want to curl up in her arms and never leave again. 

And there is something inside of her that is telling her she needs to grab him and get the hell out of there before everything they love is destroyed. 

But Clint would never leave the others behind. 

Neither would she - she has to admit it. Like Tasha, she had nothing. And then she got this family, these soldiers and scientists and a billionaire with a drinking problem and ex-assassins and secret agents and a fucking god. And yes - they were (and _are)_ a fucking dysfunctional mess together, but they're each other's dysfunctional messes. 

And she almost tells him. The words almost slip past her lips in a breathy sigh as her body shudders and she finds her release again. She closes her eyes and behind her eyelids an entire universe explodes and she can only stars and specks of white. 

Clint groans and he whispers something in her ear that faintly sounds like 'I love you' but she's in a daze and she's too far away. 

 

And then he leaves her and she's hit with a sudden coldness and her throat gets tight and her eyes are burning with tears. 

She knows she can't hold out for long, so she sits up and moves to slip out of bed but Clint catches her wrist. 

"No," he says firmly. "You're not going anywhere this time." 

She collapses against him and finally let's go. 

She cries and cries and cries but keeps her mouth clamped shut because she can't - she just  _can't -_ let him know of her fears. 

 

_You're going to die. I'm going to lose you. We're all going to die._

_I don't want to lose you,_ she almost says, but she doesn't. 

And Clint knows - he  _knows -_ because he's known Tasha for years and so he knows her too. 

"Sweetheart," he says softly, reaching up to caress her cheek, "baby, you got nothing to worry about. Okay? I'm not leaving you behind. I might not have any superpowers or any serum flowing through my veins, but I'll stay with you until my dying breath." 

She breaks down again, in his arms and he simply presses his lips to her neck and hugs her tight and whispers that it's going to be okay. 

 

Except it's not and she knows. 

 

So it's different this time. 

It's different. 

 

They lie down and they don't sleep but Clint guards her as she lays her head on his chest. 

His fingers comb her hair and he presses kisses on her face. 

"I love you," he whispers when the world starts fading away. "I'm here. I'm here." 

 

When she wakes up, she's not alone. Clint's arm is wrapped tightly around her and even though she needs to pee, she doesn't get up. 

Instead she rolls over and peppers his face in kisses before tugging the sheets of him and moving down, down, down until his fingers curl into her hair and he moans obscenely. 

 

It's the end. 

She knows it is. 

 

They stand close to the horizon together and she looks at him, unblinking, because she knows if she does, she's going to cry. 

She holds his hand and his grip is firm and steady. 

 

"It's unfair," he says softly. "It's always unfair." 

She turns her head to look at him, but doesn't say a word. 

 

When they win and they grab her and pull her away from him, she doesn't even cry. 

She wishes she had told him though. 

She wishes she hadn't woken up in the middle of the night to whisper, "I love you," to a dark room and a sleeping body. 

So many wishes, so many things left undone. 

It's not fair, she wants to say. She wants to scream it, but her throat is raw and she feels like she might puke. 

 

Now there is only silence as she leans against the cold iron wall. And she closes her eyes and waits. 

She waits for something to come. 

 

  
She knows it's not coming at all. 

 

**~ &~**


End file.
